Stupid Spy Kids - The Downfall of the Spy Kids Franchise

 
Directed, produced, composed and written by Robert Rodriguez
Produced by
David Ellison
Dana Goldberg
Don Granger
Elizabeth Avellan
Racer Rodriguez
Written by
Racer Rodriguez
Studio(s)
Skydance Media
Spyglass Media Group
Double R Productions
Distributor
Netflix

 

 

SYNOPSIS

When the children of the world's greatest secret agents unwittingly help a powerful Game Developer unleash a computer virus that gives him control of all technology, they must become spies themselves to save their parents and the world.

Review

OH HELL NO.

While it reboots the franchise with flashy CGI and a new generation of pint-sized heroes, "Armageddon" stumbles over its own nostalgia, leaving us yearning for the days of thumb thumbs.

First, the plot...déjà vu, anyone? It's a carbon copy of the original, with kids unwittingly unleashing a technological menace and stepping up to save the day. Talk about recycled spy gadgets! The sense of originality is as lost as Floop's pet monkey in the sewers.

The characters? Well, let's say they're less "kiddie Kobra" and more "whiny chihuahua." Tony and Patty are blander than a bowl of unseasoned popcorn, lacking the spark and charm of Carmen and Juni. Their "softness" wouldn't melt a popsicle, let alone thwart a world-dominating game developer. No idiot would stop a spy by ASKING him to just be kind, Patty.

And then there's the dialogue, peppered with more "Spy Kids 1" references than a Carmen Cortez fan convention. It's like Rodriguez is desperately trying to remind us of the franchise's glory days, instead of forging its own path. It's pandering, not pioneering.

Ultimately, "Spy Kids: Armageddon" is a nostalgic misfire. It tries to recapture the magic of the original but forgets the ingredients that made it special. It's a pale imitation, leaving us asking: should we just rewatch "Spy Kids 1" and relive the true spy-tastic adventure?

Watch at your own risk. Highly a stupid movie. 

1/10

 

All the Time in the World to Make a Better Film (SPY KIDS 4-D REVIEW)

 

Directed, written, produced and composed by  Robert Rodriguez
Produced by    
    Robert Rodriguez
    Elizabeth Avellán
Starring    
    Jessica Alba
    Joel McHale
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara
    Rowan Blanchard
    Mason Cook
    Ricky Gervais
    Jeremy Piven
Cinematography    
    Robert Rodriguez
    Jimmy Lindsey
Edited by Dan Zimmerman
Music by Carl Thiel
Production
company
Troublemaker Studios
Distributed by  Dimension Films

RELEASE DATE: SEPTEMBER 15, 2011 (Australia) 

 

Directed, written, produced and composed by  Robert Rodriguez

Produced by
    Elizabeth Avellán

Starring   

    Jessica Alba
    Joel McHale
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara
    Rowan Blanchard
    Mason Cook
    Ricky Gervais
    Jeremy Piven

Cinematography   

    Robert Rodriguez
    Jimmy Lindsey

Edited by Dan Zimmerman
Music by   

    Robert Rodriguez
    Carl Thiel

Production
company  
Troublemaker Studios
Distributed by  Dimension Films

Hmmmm.. yeah no. This film's so bad I can't even make a graphic for it.

Okay. One thing that Robert Rodriguez needs to realize is that having a film in 3D or 4D doesn't make it good. And why the hell is Aroma-scope a thing..?

I admit, when I was six, I had the idiotic opinion that this was the best addition to the Spy Kids movie series because I had a bad taste in a tiny amount of movie franchises.

First of all, the protagonist female in this movie is NOTHING like the funny relatable Carmen. She mocks people and she can't go one goshdarn conversation without bringing up her deceased mother. Maybe her mom's dead because of her constant blabbering..?? Secondly, the use of technology is soooo bad. This is 2011. I get so annoyed when modern films use way too much technology. The first 3 Spy Kids used gadgets and this one is all about computers and devices. 

Thirdly, WHO WROTE THIS FILM?! The one-liners are ridiculously unfunny and none of this dialogue would be said by real humans with real functioning brains.

Also, Robert Rodriguez worked on 6 roles in the first 3 Spy Kids. Now he worked on 4 in this one, and MAN did the quality go down.

Thank god the sequel that this film was supposed to have never came out. And, Rodriguez, it would be NOT necessary at all to have it in 5-D. Did the first Spy Kids come out in 1-D? 

 

 Well, at least there's a good plot and good characters [sometimes]. Really, the only good parts about the film are the scenes with Juni and Carmen.

Rating: 3.1/10

 

Game On! Spy Kids III Levels Up the Fun

 

Directed, written, filmed, edited, produced, composed and based off a story by  Robert Rodriguez
Produced by   
    Elizabeth Avellán
Starring   
    Antonio Banderas
    Carla Gugino
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara
    Ricardo Montalbán
    Holland Taylor
    Mike Judge
    Cheech Marin
    Sylvester Stallone
Production
company
Troublemaker Studios
Distributed by Dimension Films

Release date: January 1, 2004 (Australia)

Synopsis

Under-age agents Juni and Carmen Cortez set out on their newest most mind-blowing mission yet: journeying inside the virtual reality world of a 3-D video game designed to outsmart them, as the awe-inspiring graphics and creatures of gaming come to real life. Relying on humor, gadgetry, bravery, family bonds and lightning-quick reflexes, the Spy Kids must battle through tougher and tougher levels of the game, facing challenges that include racing against road warriors and surfing on boiling lava, in order to save the world from a power hungry villain.

Review

Okay, so why do I love this movie SO MUCH? Hmmm... let's see. It's a Spy Kids film.. Nah. Maybe because the plot revolve arounds video games? Nope. Too obvious. Oh! Because we get more scenes with Juni! Eeh. Nup. OHHH!! Because it's a Stallone role in a kids film? Maybe. But it's not his first time. Orrrr because it's in 3D! That's dumb. I don't even have 3D glasses. OH! DEFINETLY ALL OF THOSE REASONS! YES!  "Spy Kids 3: Game Over" takes a sharp turn into the digital world, pitting Carmen and Juni Cortez against the Toymaker in a virtual reality battleground known as the Toybox. While it may not reach the heights of the original film, it certainly steps up from the somewhat lackluster "Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams."

Gone are the sugar-coated landscapes and goofy gadgets of the previous films. "Spy Kids 3" embraces a hyper-stylized CGI world, filled with neon landscapes, gravity-defying platforms, and pixelated enemies. The action sequences are exhilarating, with fast-paced chases and inventive use of the virtual environment. Robert Rodriguez was a one-man movie maker, having SIX major roles in the production of this movie.

One of the film's weaknesses lies in its plot. The villain, the Toymaker, lacks the charisma and memorable presence of Floop from the first film. The stakes feel lower, and the emotional core of the Cortez family takes a backseat to the flashy visuals. Sylvester Stallone attempts to hold things together with his quadruple roles, but the performances feel uneven. Regardless, they're still goddamn hilarious. This is the second Stallone movie I've ever watched and I think it's the best.

The film retains the franchise's love for wacky gadgets, with thumbtack grappling hooks and shrink rays still making an appearance. However, the humor feels hit-and-miss, mostly relying on puns and slapstick comedy that might land better with younger audiences. The predeccessors of Spy Kids 3 were mainly more suitable for audiences 10 and older, it was more relatable and the humor was natural.

"Spy Kids 3: Game Over" is a visually stunning and action-packed film that provides a nostalgic trip back to the world of Thumb Thumbs and shark fights. However, it lacks the charm, emotional depth, and originality of the first movie. Still, it's a worthwhile addition to the franchise, offering a fun, albeit slightly forgettable, adventure for younger viewers.

Rating: 6/10

WATCH SPY KIDS III

 GAME OVER

 AT THE 

https://archive.org/download/fantasy.movies.greek.subs/Spy%20Kids%203-D%20Game%20Over%20%282003%29.ia.mp4 (Greek subtitles)

 

 

Island of Lost Dreams: Is Spy Kids 2 a Dream Come True?

 it's my birthday today! but i promised to give you reviews every monday, so here is a review of what might be the best spy sequel ever

Directed, written, composed, filmed, edited  and produced by Robert Rodriguez
Produced by   
    Elizabeth Avellán
Starring   
    Antonio Banderas
    Carla Gugino
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara
    Mike Judge
    Ricardo Montalbán
    Holland Taylor
    Christopher McDonald
    Cheech Marin
    Steve Buscemi
Music by   
    John Debney
Production
company 
Troublemaker Studios
Distributed by Dimension Films

Release date: January 10, 2003 (Australia)

Synopsis 

 The Cortez siblings set out for a mysterious island, where they encounter a genetic scientist and a set of rival spy kids.

Review

"Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams" blasts onto the screen with the same zany energy and over-the-top spectacle as its predecessor. However, while the sequel retains the fun family spirit, it stumbles in capturing the same magic that made the first movie such a wild unique enjoyable expierence for everyone regardless of age.

Carmen and Juni Cortez are back, older, wiser (well, maybe a little), and ready to tackle even wilder missions. This time, they're chasing down the nefarious Romero on a fantastical island filled with giant insects, dream-manipulating robots, and, of course, the ever-present Thumb Thum army. Familiar faces like Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino return as Gregorio and Ingrid Cortez, adding their charm and comedic chops to the mix.

Juni Cortez' character is now a girl with a crush, and not a heroic brave take things into her own hands character. Now she has gotten a habit of going against her family thanks to the opposite spy who she admittedly has a crush on.

While the premise of "Spy Kids 2" is undeniably fun, it often feels like a retread of the first film. The villain's motivations are a bit muddled, the jokes land with less punch, and the emotional stakes never quite reach the same heights. It's still undeniably entertaining, but there's a sense of déjà vu that can't be shaken.

Don't get me wrong, "Island of Lost Dreams" does have its strengths. The visual effects are impressive, especially for a 2002 film, and the action sequences are still thrillingly chaotic. The introduction of the Giggles twins adds a new layer of sibling rivalry, and the film's message about embracing individuality remains heartwarming.

Overall, "Spy Kids 2" is a fun, albeit slightly watered-down, sequel that will definitely entertain young audiences. Depending on what you look for in action-comedies, you will have varied opinions. It lacks the originality and emotional depth of the first film, but there's still enough zany charm and family fun to keep you engaged. Just don't expect it to recapture the same lightning-in-a-bottle feeling.

Rating: 8/10 

WATCH SPY KIDS 2

THE ISLAND OF LOST DREAMS

 AT THE

 

https://archive.org/download/fantasy.movies.greek.subs/Spy%20Kids%202%20The%20Island%20of%20Lost%20Dreams%20%282002%29.ia.mp4 (Greek subs)

 

 

 

Thumbtack Thumbs Up: A Spy Kids Mission Review

 

Directed, written, edited and produced by Robert Rodriguez
Produced by   
    Robert Rodriguez
Starring   
    Antonio Banderas
    Carla Gugino
    Alan Cumming
    Teri Hatcher
    Cheech Marin
    Danny Trejo
    Robert Patrick
    Tony Shalhoub
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara

Release date (Australia): September 20, 2001

 Synopsis

• Using high tech gadgets, two kids have to save their reactivated OSS top spy parents when they're taken by an evil, high tech enemy.

Review

Spy Kids is a very unique film. The characters and CGI could be horrifying and traumatizing to some kids. The events these 2 poor, alone kids go through that could possibly turn their father's co-workers into mindless numbless idiots all alone without their parents.. 

Oh my god. I love this movie.

The film's plot is as wacky as it is entertaining. Thrown into a world of villainous toymakers, mutant sharks, and thumb-tack grappling hooks (yes, you read that right!), Carmen and Juni have to rely on their quick thinking, newfound spy skills, and, of course, each other. Rodriguez's signature over-the-top style keeps the action fast-paced and visually stunning, from the sugar-coated lair of the evil Floop to the gravity-defying Thumb Thumbs Island.

 But "Spy Kids" isn't just about explosions and gadgets. It's also a heartwarming story about family, sibling rivalry, and believing in yourself. Carmen and Juni, despite their bickering, ultimately learn to work together and overcome their fears. Their parents, Gregorio and Ingrid, played by Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino, are a fun and supportive duo, reminding us that family is always there to have your back, even when you're saving the world from evil toymakers.

If there is EVER a "The Spy Next Door Part II", I hope whoever directs it takes notes from this film.

10/10

 WATCH SPY KIDS AT THE

 https://archive.org/download/fantasy.movies.greek.subs/Spy%20Kids%20%282001%29.ia.mp4 (Greek subtitles)