Directed, produced, composed and written by Robert Rodriguez
Produced by
David Ellison
Dana Goldberg
Don Granger
Elizabeth Avellan
Racer Rodriguez
Written by
Racer Rodriguez
Studio(s)
Skydance Media
Spyglass Media Group
Double R Productions
Distributor
Netflix
SYNOPSIS
When the children of the world's greatest secret agents unwittingly help a powerful Game Developer unleash a computer virus that gives him control of all technology, they must become spies themselves to save their parents and the world.
Review
OH HELL NO.
While it reboots the franchise with flashy CGI and a new generation of pint-sized heroes, "Armageddon" stumbles over its own nostalgia, leaving us yearning for the days of thumb thumbs.
First, the plot...déjà vu, anyone? It's a carbon copy of the original, with kids unwittingly unleashing a technological menace and stepping up to save the day. Talk about recycled spy gadgets! The sense of originality is as lost as Floop's pet monkey in the sewers.
The characters? Well, let's say they're less "kiddie Kobra" and more "whiny chihuahua." Tony and Patty are blander than a bowl of unseasoned popcorn, lacking the spark and charm of Carmen and Juni. Their "softness" wouldn't melt a popsicle, let alone thwart a world-dominating game developer. No idiot would stop a spy by ASKING him to just be kind, Patty.
And then there's the dialogue, peppered with more "Spy Kids 1" references than a Carmen Cortez fan convention. It's like Rodriguez is desperately trying to remind us of the franchise's glory days, instead of forging its own path. It's pandering, not pioneering.
Ultimately, "Spy Kids: Armageddon" is a nostalgic misfire. It tries to recapture the magic of the original but forgets the ingredients that made it special. It's a pale imitation, leaving us asking: should we just rewatch "Spy Kids 1" and relive the true spy-tastic adventure?
Watch at your own risk. Highly a stupid movie.
1/10
