JC & JC collaborate in Hidden Strike

 

 Produced by & starring Jackie Chan

Directed by    Scott Waugh
Written by    Arash Amel
Produced by   

    Esmond Ren
    Hans Canosa
    Joe Tam

Starring   

    John Cena
    Pilou Asbaek
    Ma Chunrui

Cinematography    Tony Cheung
Edited by    Scott Waugh
Music by    Nathan Furst
Production
companies
    
Changchun Film Studio

    XYZ Films
    FilmsHuaxia Film Distribution
    Epitome
    Talent International Media
    Flame Pictures Company

Distributed by Netflix
Release date: July 28, 2023

Synopsis

Two ex-special forces soldiers must escort a group of civilians along Baghdad's "Highway of Death" to the safety of the Green Zone.

Review

Let's talk about the story. The story reminds me of the 1973 classic "Enter the Dragon". But this film is nothing like that.

Let's talk about the two main stars. Jackie Chan & John Cena, what a random duo. This would surely turn out to be a horrible movie, right? Well, no. Chan and Cena have some good chemistry and great lines in the bloopers and the movie.

Let's talk about the action. The action is enjoyable, but really nothing special. It becomes less special when you release Jackie was 64 at the time this was filmed, so all his performances are mostly stunt doubles. This is an average run of the mill one of his movies where the idea of having him in a role is cool but the movie doesn't turn out to be that cool.

The dialogue is pretty funny, I can say that. But I can ALSO say that this movie relies on the dialogue and none of the action, really. There's no cool tricks or kicking, just guns and running and random punching.

I can say the film could have been a lot better but still pretty enjoyable.

Rating: 5.5/10

 

Stupid Spy Kids - The Downfall of the Spy Kids Franchise

 
Directed, produced, composed and written by Robert Rodriguez
Produced by
David Ellison
Dana Goldberg
Don Granger
Elizabeth Avellan
Racer Rodriguez
Written by
Racer Rodriguez
Studio(s)
Skydance Media
Spyglass Media Group
Double R Productions
Distributor
Netflix

 

 

SYNOPSIS

When the children of the world's greatest secret agents unwittingly help a powerful Game Developer unleash a computer virus that gives him control of all technology, they must become spies themselves to save their parents and the world.

Review

OH HELL NO.

While it reboots the franchise with flashy CGI and a new generation of pint-sized heroes, "Armageddon" stumbles over its own nostalgia, leaving us yearning for the days of thumb thumbs.

First, the plot...déjà vu, anyone? It's a carbon copy of the original, with kids unwittingly unleashing a technological menace and stepping up to save the day. Talk about recycled spy gadgets! The sense of originality is as lost as Floop's pet monkey in the sewers.

The characters? Well, let's say they're less "kiddie Kobra" and more "whiny chihuahua." Tony and Patty are blander than a bowl of unseasoned popcorn, lacking the spark and charm of Carmen and Juni. Their "softness" wouldn't melt a popsicle, let alone thwart a world-dominating game developer. No idiot would stop a spy by ASKING him to just be kind, Patty.

And then there's the dialogue, peppered with more "Spy Kids 1" references than a Carmen Cortez fan convention. It's like Rodriguez is desperately trying to remind us of the franchise's glory days, instead of forging its own path. It's pandering, not pioneering.

Ultimately, "Spy Kids: Armageddon" is a nostalgic misfire. It tries to recapture the magic of the original but forgets the ingredients that made it special. It's a pale imitation, leaving us asking: should we just rewatch "Spy Kids 1" and relive the true spy-tastic adventure?

Watch at your own risk. Highly a stupid movie. 

1/10