Shaolin Wooden Men

 One of Jackie's more earlier films before his eye surgery.. noentheless very entertaining. Lacks a lot of humor but does perfectly when there is a little bit. Very interesting plot and good fight choreography.

RATING: 9/10

Back To The Drawing Board: The Karate Kid Part III

 Release date: August 17, 1989

Rated PG (15+)

Now we're talking.. this Karate Kid is once again an All Valley tournament and takes place in the location from the first film. But is it really that good? Ehh.

The fight scenes and story are pretty good, but the action department is mediocre, especially the final fight scene. Mike Barnes really should've won. Daniel would have lost if the film was realistic.

 The plot twist in this film was pretty predictable and it wasn't as surprising. This film introduced Terry Silver to the Cobra Kai series, the evil moron he is.

Anyways, I still cannot get myself to completely hate this film, so I give it a 

Rating: 9/10 

 

A Whole New World, Old Characters: The Karate Kid Part II

Release date: July 31, 1986

Rated PG (15+) 

Oh waa blah blah blah the Karate Kid 2 is such a bad sequel blah blah- SHUT THE HELL UP. THIS MOVIE IS A MASTERPIECE. IT IS CRIMINNALLY UNDERATED. I WILL DEFEND IT UNTIL I DIE. HELL, I MAY EVEN DEFEND IT AFTER I DIE. 

So, I will admit, this film and it's predecessor are two completely different ideas. They take place miles away. The first one is about a boy competing in a Kung Fu tournament to prove to his bully he's strong. And this one is about that boy traveling to Japan with his master.

So of course, this film has such a different feel to it and a very unique story that's hard to follow. And I'm honestly digging it.

 

I enjoyed every fight in this film heavily. Every action sequence, every plot twist. I watched it and I loved it. Hell, I might even watch the movie again. Get it on DVD AND Blu-Ray.

Rating: 10/10

 

Cobra Kai - The Film: Is The Karate Kid That Great?

 

    Release date: Oct 27, 1984

Rated PG (15+)

AAAAARRRGGGH.

After watching the Cobra Kai series and the Jacky Chan remake, I eventually figured it was time to watch the original. Was I dazzled? No. Was I dissapointed? No.

With a cliched plot that has been copied from probably over a million films, this film is tiring in terms of plot and term of action.

With slow but for some reason, still painful hits, the action department of this film was a bit of a fail, just as with the emotion department. LaRusso is the victim of bullying while simultaneously a literal JERK. You really fail to feel bad for him, unlike with Jaden Smith, a wonderful actor and terrible rapper. Ralph Macchio didn't take on a dog poop music career, which is why I still have a hint of sympathy for him.

He yells at his mother and his kung fu teacher, Mr. Miyagi, who looks ancient but unconvincingly still can kick butt. Huh? 

My god. My opinions of this films go up and down like a Ferris Wheel. I love it! Nah, it's bad. NOW I LOVE IT! And I hate it. JUST PICK ONE, ME!

Yeah, I love it.

Rating: 7/10

The Karate Kid - A classic redefined for new generations

 

Directed byHarald Zwart
Screenplay by    Christopher Murphey
Story by    Robert Mark Kamen
Produced by   
    Jerry Weintraub
    Will Smith
    Jada Pinkett Smith
    James Lassiter
    Ken Stovitz
Starring   
    Jaden Smith
    Jackie Chan
    Taraji P. Henson
Cinematography    Roger Pratt
Edited by    Joel Negron
Music by  James Horner
Production
companies
    
    Columbia Pictures
    China Film Group

Overbrook Entertainment

JW Productions
Distributed by Sony Pictures Releasing

Release date (Australia): July 8, 2010

Synopsis

When Dre Parker (Jaden Smith) and his mother (Taraji P. Henson) move from Detroit to China, Dre feels lost in a world very different from what he knows. Bullied and beaten up by some fellow students in his school, Dre is rescued by his apartment building's handyman, Mr. Han (Jackie Chan), a man who is mourning
a devastating loss. Mr. Han takes pity on Dre and agrees to teach him kung fu to defend himself. Training together, teacher and student learn to trust each other, and ultimately form a friendship that heals them both.

   Review 

Okay, so my opinions on this film are HIGHLY ridden by nostalgia, the first time I watched this was in 2019. I remember those days. Re-watching this movie, using Incredibox on my Dad's laptop, twirling around in the chair, the air-con on, researching Bruce Lee.. ahh. But nevertheless, it is a good movie.

The Karate Kid is one of the most highly-known American action drama films ever, especially the first three films from 1984, '86, and '89. The 2010 sequel is the least discussed film.. oh.. yeah. Next Karate Kid 1994. Never mind. Anyways, the Karate Kid 2010 is a reboot starring Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith which is hated, but in my opinion pretty good. 

I think the acting in this movie is realistic and natural, and Mr Han's backstory makes the film better and there is also a lesson in the film thanks to the scenes. The direction with the music is amazing. The soundtrack makes the film feel better, unlike other films I've watched, with the soundtrack not being good enough. This is perfect.

Anyways, good film.

Rating: 8/10

 

 

Stupid Spy Kids - The Downfall of the Spy Kids Franchise

 
Directed, produced, composed and written by Robert Rodriguez
Produced by
David Ellison
Dana Goldberg
Don Granger
Elizabeth Avellan
Racer Rodriguez
Written by
Racer Rodriguez
Studio(s)
Skydance Media
Spyglass Media Group
Double R Productions
Distributor
Netflix

 

 

SYNOPSIS

When the children of the world's greatest secret agents unwittingly help a powerful Game Developer unleash a computer virus that gives him control of all technology, they must become spies themselves to save their parents and the world.

Review

OH HELL NO.

While it reboots the franchise with flashy CGI and a new generation of pint-sized heroes, "Armageddon" stumbles over its own nostalgia, leaving us yearning for the days of thumb thumbs.

First, the plot...déjà vu, anyone? It's a carbon copy of the original, with kids unwittingly unleashing a technological menace and stepping up to save the day. Talk about recycled spy gadgets! The sense of originality is as lost as Floop's pet monkey in the sewers.

The characters? Well, let's say they're less "kiddie Kobra" and more "whiny chihuahua." Tony and Patty are blander than a bowl of unseasoned popcorn, lacking the spark and charm of Carmen and Juni. Their "softness" wouldn't melt a popsicle, let alone thwart a world-dominating game developer. No idiot would stop a spy by ASKING him to just be kind, Patty.

And then there's the dialogue, peppered with more "Spy Kids 1" references than a Carmen Cortez fan convention. It's like Rodriguez is desperately trying to remind us of the franchise's glory days, instead of forging its own path. It's pandering, not pioneering.

Ultimately, "Spy Kids: Armageddon" is a nostalgic misfire. It tries to recapture the magic of the original but forgets the ingredients that made it special. It's a pale imitation, leaving us asking: should we just rewatch "Spy Kids 1" and relive the true spy-tastic adventure?

Watch at your own risk. Highly a stupid movie. 

1/10

 

All the Time in the World to Make a Better Film (SPY KIDS 4-D REVIEW)

 

Directed, written, produced and composed by  Robert Rodriguez
Produced by    
    Robert Rodriguez
    Elizabeth Avellán
Starring    
    Jessica Alba
    Joel McHale
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara
    Rowan Blanchard
    Mason Cook
    Ricky Gervais
    Jeremy Piven
Cinematography    
    Robert Rodriguez
    Jimmy Lindsey
Edited by Dan Zimmerman
Music by Carl Thiel
Production
company
Troublemaker Studios
Distributed by  Dimension Films

RELEASE DATE: SEPTEMBER 15, 2011 (Australia) 

 

Directed, written, produced and composed by  Robert Rodriguez

Produced by
    Elizabeth Avellán

Starring   

    Jessica Alba
    Joel McHale
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara
    Rowan Blanchard
    Mason Cook
    Ricky Gervais
    Jeremy Piven

Cinematography   

    Robert Rodriguez
    Jimmy Lindsey

Edited by Dan Zimmerman
Music by   

    Robert Rodriguez
    Carl Thiel

Production
company  
Troublemaker Studios
Distributed by  Dimension Films

Hmmmm.. yeah no. This film's so bad I can't even make a graphic for it.

Okay. One thing that Robert Rodriguez needs to realize is that having a film in 3D or 4D doesn't make it good. And why the hell is Aroma-scope a thing..?

I admit, when I was six, I had the idiotic opinion that this was the best addition to the Spy Kids movie series because I had a bad taste in a tiny amount of movie franchises.

First of all, the protagonist female in this movie is NOTHING like the funny relatable Carmen. She mocks people and she can't go one goshdarn conversation without bringing up her deceased mother. Maybe her mom's dead because of her constant blabbering..?? Secondly, the use of technology is soooo bad. This is 2011. I get so annoyed when modern films use way too much technology. The first 3 Spy Kids used gadgets and this one is all about computers and devices. 

Thirdly, WHO WROTE THIS FILM?! The one-liners are ridiculously unfunny and none of this dialogue would be said by real humans with real functioning brains.

Also, Robert Rodriguez worked on 6 roles in the first 3 Spy Kids. Now he worked on 4 in this one, and MAN did the quality go down.

Thank god the sequel that this film was supposed to have never came out. And, Rodriguez, it would be NOT necessary at all to have it in 5-D. Did the first Spy Kids come out in 1-D? 

 

 Well, at least there's a good plot and good characters [sometimes]. Really, the only good parts about the film are the scenes with Juni and Carmen.

Rating: 3.1/10

 

Game On! Spy Kids III Levels Up the Fun

 

Directed, written, filmed, edited, produced, composed and based off a story by  Robert Rodriguez
Produced by   
    Elizabeth Avellán
Starring   
    Antonio Banderas
    Carla Gugino
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara
    Ricardo Montalbán
    Holland Taylor
    Mike Judge
    Cheech Marin
    Sylvester Stallone
Production
company
Troublemaker Studios
Distributed by Dimension Films

Release date: January 1, 2004 (Australia)

Synopsis

Under-age agents Juni and Carmen Cortez set out on their newest most mind-blowing mission yet: journeying inside the virtual reality world of a 3-D video game designed to outsmart them, as the awe-inspiring graphics and creatures of gaming come to real life. Relying on humor, gadgetry, bravery, family bonds and lightning-quick reflexes, the Spy Kids must battle through tougher and tougher levels of the game, facing challenges that include racing against road warriors and surfing on boiling lava, in order to save the world from a power hungry villain.

Review

Okay, so why do I love this movie SO MUCH? Hmmm... let's see. It's a Spy Kids film.. Nah. Maybe because the plot revolve arounds video games? Nope. Too obvious. Oh! Because we get more scenes with Juni! Eeh. Nup. OHHH!! Because it's a Stallone role in a kids film? Maybe. But it's not his first time. Orrrr because it's in 3D! That's dumb. I don't even have 3D glasses. OH! DEFINETLY ALL OF THOSE REASONS! YES!  "Spy Kids 3: Game Over" takes a sharp turn into the digital world, pitting Carmen and Juni Cortez against the Toymaker in a virtual reality battleground known as the Toybox. While it may not reach the heights of the original film, it certainly steps up from the somewhat lackluster "Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams."

Gone are the sugar-coated landscapes and goofy gadgets of the previous films. "Spy Kids 3" embraces a hyper-stylized CGI world, filled with neon landscapes, gravity-defying platforms, and pixelated enemies. The action sequences are exhilarating, with fast-paced chases and inventive use of the virtual environment. Robert Rodriguez was a one-man movie maker, having SIX major roles in the production of this movie.

One of the film's weaknesses lies in its plot. The villain, the Toymaker, lacks the charisma and memorable presence of Floop from the first film. The stakes feel lower, and the emotional core of the Cortez family takes a backseat to the flashy visuals. Sylvester Stallone attempts to hold things together with his quadruple roles, but the performances feel uneven. Regardless, they're still goddamn hilarious. This is the second Stallone movie I've ever watched and I think it's the best.

The film retains the franchise's love for wacky gadgets, with thumbtack grappling hooks and shrink rays still making an appearance. However, the humor feels hit-and-miss, mostly relying on puns and slapstick comedy that might land better with younger audiences. The predeccessors of Spy Kids 3 were mainly more suitable for audiences 10 and older, it was more relatable and the humor was natural.

"Spy Kids 3: Game Over" is a visually stunning and action-packed film that provides a nostalgic trip back to the world of Thumb Thumbs and shark fights. However, it lacks the charm, emotional depth, and originality of the first movie. Still, it's a worthwhile addition to the franchise, offering a fun, albeit slightly forgettable, adventure for younger viewers.

Rating: 6/10

WATCH SPY KIDS III

 GAME OVER

 AT THE 

https://archive.org/download/fantasy.movies.greek.subs/Spy%20Kids%203-D%20Game%20Over%20%282003%29.ia.mp4 (Greek subtitles)

 

 

Island of Lost Dreams: Is Spy Kids 2 a Dream Come True?

 it's my birthday today! but i promised to give you reviews every monday, so here is a review of what might be the best spy sequel ever

Directed, written, composed, filmed, edited  and produced by Robert Rodriguez
Produced by   
    Elizabeth Avellán
Starring   
    Antonio Banderas
    Carla Gugino
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara
    Mike Judge
    Ricardo Montalbán
    Holland Taylor
    Christopher McDonald
    Cheech Marin
    Steve Buscemi
Music by   
    John Debney
Production
company 
Troublemaker Studios
Distributed by Dimension Films

Release date: January 10, 2003 (Australia)

Synopsis 

 The Cortez siblings set out for a mysterious island, where they encounter a genetic scientist and a set of rival spy kids.

Review

"Spy Kids 2: Island of Lost Dreams" blasts onto the screen with the same zany energy and over-the-top spectacle as its predecessor. However, while the sequel retains the fun family spirit, it stumbles in capturing the same magic that made the first movie such a wild unique enjoyable expierence for everyone regardless of age.

Carmen and Juni Cortez are back, older, wiser (well, maybe a little), and ready to tackle even wilder missions. This time, they're chasing down the nefarious Romero on a fantastical island filled with giant insects, dream-manipulating robots, and, of course, the ever-present Thumb Thum army. Familiar faces like Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino return as Gregorio and Ingrid Cortez, adding their charm and comedic chops to the mix.

Juni Cortez' character is now a girl with a crush, and not a heroic brave take things into her own hands character. Now she has gotten a habit of going against her family thanks to the opposite spy who she admittedly has a crush on.

While the premise of "Spy Kids 2" is undeniably fun, it often feels like a retread of the first film. The villain's motivations are a bit muddled, the jokes land with less punch, and the emotional stakes never quite reach the same heights. It's still undeniably entertaining, but there's a sense of déjà vu that can't be shaken.

Don't get me wrong, "Island of Lost Dreams" does have its strengths. The visual effects are impressive, especially for a 2002 film, and the action sequences are still thrillingly chaotic. The introduction of the Giggles twins adds a new layer of sibling rivalry, and the film's message about embracing individuality remains heartwarming.

Overall, "Spy Kids 2" is a fun, albeit slightly watered-down, sequel that will definitely entertain young audiences. Depending on what you look for in action-comedies, you will have varied opinions. It lacks the originality and emotional depth of the first film, but there's still enough zany charm and family fun to keep you engaged. Just don't expect it to recapture the same lightning-in-a-bottle feeling.

Rating: 8/10 

WATCH SPY KIDS 2

THE ISLAND OF LOST DREAMS

 AT THE

 

https://archive.org/download/fantasy.movies.greek.subs/Spy%20Kids%202%20The%20Island%20of%20Lost%20Dreams%20%282002%29.ia.mp4 (Greek subs)

 

 

 

Thumbtack Thumbs Up: A Spy Kids Mission Review

 

Directed, written, edited and produced by Robert Rodriguez
Produced by   
    Robert Rodriguez
Starring   
    Antonio Banderas
    Carla Gugino
    Alan Cumming
    Teri Hatcher
    Cheech Marin
    Danny Trejo
    Robert Patrick
    Tony Shalhoub
    Alexa Vega
    Daryl Sabara

Release date (Australia): September 20, 2001

 Synopsis

• Using high tech gadgets, two kids have to save their reactivated OSS top spy parents when they're taken by an evil, high tech enemy.

Review

Spy Kids is a very unique film. The characters and CGI could be horrifying and traumatizing to some kids. The events these 2 poor, alone kids go through that could possibly turn their father's co-workers into mindless numbless idiots all alone without their parents.. 

Oh my god. I love this movie.

The film's plot is as wacky as it is entertaining. Thrown into a world of villainous toymakers, mutant sharks, and thumb-tack grappling hooks (yes, you read that right!), Carmen and Juni have to rely on their quick thinking, newfound spy skills, and, of course, each other. Rodriguez's signature over-the-top style keeps the action fast-paced and visually stunning, from the sugar-coated lair of the evil Floop to the gravity-defying Thumb Thumbs Island.

 But "Spy Kids" isn't just about explosions and gadgets. It's also a heartwarming story about family, sibling rivalry, and believing in yourself. Carmen and Juni, despite their bickering, ultimately learn to work together and overcome their fears. Their parents, Gregorio and Ingrid, played by Antonio Banderas and Carla Gugino, are a fun and supportive duo, reminding us that family is always there to have your back, even when you're saving the world from evil toymakers.

If there is EVER a "The Spy Next Door Part II", I hope whoever directs it takes notes from this film.

10/10

 WATCH SPY KIDS AT THE

 https://archive.org/download/fantasy.movies.greek.subs/Spy%20Kids%20%282001%29.ia.mp4 (Greek subtitles)

Game, Set, Match, Mayhem: Dragon Lord Takes Sports and Action to the Extreme

 Jackie at his best!

Directed, written by and starring Jackie Chan

Directed by   

    Edward Tang

    Barry Wong

Produced by

 Raymond Chow

    Leonard Ho

Starring

    Mars

    Hwang In-Shik

    Tien Feng

 

Synopsis

 Dragon  is the son of a Chinese aristocrat who is always getting in trouble, and likes to skip his lessons. Dragon tries to send a love note to the girl he likes via a kite, but the kite gets away. Dragon tries to get the kite and letter back which have landed on the roof of the headquarters of a gang of thieves who are planning to steal artifacts from the towns temple. Dragon interferes with the gang's plans and is forced to fight off the gang. 

 

 

Jackie doing a jump!

 

Review 

 

Some legend on YouTube put the Australian English dub of this film from 1983 onto their channel. Being the mega Jackie fan I am [and because of the fact I literally own a blog dedicated to action films), I took time to watch the movie and ultimately enjoyed it.

There are a lot of reasons I love this movie. 

It's very different. This film has Jackie playing.. not as a cop, but the lacking son of a rich businessman. Wow. Not only is Jackie's character different, but one of the major things in the films is different. 

Jackie and his village boys do sports! This is an action sports film. SPORTS. While you might not be used to sports in Jackie's films (considering this is 1 out of 2 of them), you should be because this is amazing. Speaking of the sports, the movie starts off with all the people in Dragon's village CLIMBING UP THE TOP of a goddamn pyramid to get a rugby ball. 3 minutes in the film and we already get an amazing sequence. A seven minute sequence. Then 5 minutes after the end of the sequence, we get a fight scene between Dragon and Cowboy.. over a girl. For 2 minutes. Until everyone starts freaking out because Dragon's father comes in the scene right after Dragon says he's not scared of his dad. Then 15 minutes later we get ANOTHER sports scene. FOR TEN MINUTES. Ever see that in Jackie Chan films? NO. And DON'T bring up Dragons Forever. That's not a sports movie. Still, I kinda feel bad for anyone who got the version of the movie where the rugby match is at the end.

The film was a combo of Mars and Chan. You rarely see Mars fight in films, but when he does, he does an amazing job. Mars is the best stuntman of Jackie and I wish we saw him in more films. Mars plays Cowboy and Chan plays Dragon. They are best friends in this movie and are probably the best duo ever seen in a Jackie Chan film. In the final fight, Dragon falls from the top floor and Cowboy literally breaks his fall by making sure Dragon landed on him. Didn't go too well the first time in shooting. 

 (Jackie is in the black. You can guess who Mars is.)

The subtle comedy was perfectly placed at times and was not too pushy. Some of the comedy is put in during life-defying fight scenes as well. Just goes to show that Dragon really doesn't care. Speaking of the fights, Hwang in-Shik and Jackie fight again, two years after The Young Master (which Dragon Lord was supposed to serve as a sequel to, except Jackie doesn't win by drinking any tobacco water. He wins.. by piling him up in a sack of potatos. Wow. Jackie Chan really got a beating back in the 80s. (Dragon Lord, Police Story 2, Wheels on Meals..) Anyways, back to the comedy, the English adaption writers did a great job. That's sometimes why I prefer the dub over the sub.

The stunt-work on the film was actually amazing and impressed so much for Jackie's third directed film only. Jackie's stunt team did a wild amazing job on this. This is the first film where Jackie started expirementing with stunt sequences. This is the start of the Jacky Chan that we ALL KNOW and love. Just imagine if he didn't like stunt sequences. Just imagine if he never even did them! This blog would only have like 10 reviews.

The American in Jackie & Mars keep showing.

 

 The soundtrack is a bit repetitive, but it is a great soundtrack song and I hate that I can't find it anywhere.

The old 80s dubbing makes the film more enjoyable. It might be horrible, but it sure has that charm. It is way better then the new 21st century dubs of foreign films, which unfortunately was used in the 88 Films trailer for the new Blu-Ray release of Dragon Lord.

Dragon Lord is definetly a great pick, and shows resemblance to the Young Master which I reviewed December of 2023. Just a spolier: no real dragons (or lords) appear in the film.

Rating: 9.5/10

Watch Dragon Lord on 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98x3Eh8By-g (Australian English VHS dub from 1985) 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4a1Qv_CZoQ&pp=ygUXRHJhZ29uIExvcmR-SmFja2llIENoYW4%3D (French dub)

 

https://www.bilibili.tv/video/2042296275 (Indonesian dub) 

https://watch.plex.tv/movie/dragon-lord (Miramax 1996 release)

 

 

Stopping Asia From Crime Lords looks easy compared to taking care of kids in "The Spy Next Door"

Directed by Brian Levant

Screenplay and story by Jonathan Bernstein and James Greer

Screenplay by

    Jonathan Bernstein

    James Greer

    Gregory Poirier

Produced by Robert Simonds

Starring 

Jackie Chan

    Amber Valletta

    Madeline Carroll

    Will Shadley

    Magnús Scheving

    Billy Ray Cyrus

    George Lopez

Release date: January 15, 2010

25 March, 2010 (Australia) 

Synopsis 

Bob Ho (Jackie Chan), an undercover operative for the Central Intelligence Agency, decides to give up his career and marry his girlfriend, Gillian (Amber Valletta). First however, he has one more mission to complete: Gain the approval of Gillian's children. Bob volunteers to baby-sit when Gillian is called away, but the operation hits a snag when one of the kids mistakenly downloads a top-secret formula, and Anton Poldark, a Russian terrorist (Magnus Scheving) takes aim at Bob's prospective family.

Review 

This film sucks. I can remember a lot from it and have no idea why I liked it.

Firstly, the kids in this movie hate Bob Ho for no reason. Sure he isn't your father, but do you have to make life hard for him? That just triggered me. I always hated seeing the hero hated.

Secondly, the fight scenes in the movie are bombared by childish sound effects that are supposed to be funny. I guess when you're seven it is, but I'm mature [and ten years old] and don't laugh at it at all.

 Thirdly, it's a Halloween film. My religion and country prohibit Halloween, but what sucks is that the film doesn't even foreshadow it being October. Once I saw everyone in costumes and trick-or-treating, I was like- 'Huh? It's Halloween?'

Lastly - about 20 or 35 minutes worth of this 94 minute film are actually funny and possible to laugh at. The other are not.

The only thing that makes it good is Jackie Chan's charm and Magnus Scheving's performance. Not to mention the ending credits, which have bloopers funnier then the film.

But when you think of it as a film to have a good time with and not take too seriously, you can find it pretty good, if you have a mental illness.

Watch "The Spy Next Door" at the

https://archive.org/details/the-spy-next-door

https://archive.org/details/l77h4k59 (Along with other action/comedy/Hong Kong films)

Rating: 4/10

 

 

MIIB: The Sequel Nobody Expected and Wanted

 They're Back in Black.

Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld

Screenplay by   

    Robert Gordon

    Barry Fanaro

Story by Robert Gordon

Based on The Men in Black

by Lowell Cunningham

Produced by

Walter F. Parkes

    Laurie MacDonald
Starring   

    Tommy Lee Jones

    Will Smith

    Lara Flynn Boyle

    Johnny Knoxville

    Rosario Dawson

    Tony Shalhoub

    Rip Torn

Synopsis 

Kay (Tommy Lee Jones) and Jay (Will Smith) reunite to provide our best line of defense against a seductress who levels the toughest challenge yet to the MIBs mission statement: protecting the earth from the scum of the universe. While investigating a routine crime, Jay uncovers a plot masterminded by Serleena (Boyle), a Kylothian monster who disguises herself as a lingerie model. When Serleena takes the MIB building hostage, there is only one person Jay can turn to -- his former MIB partner. 

Review 

I have nothing to say about the film. I have the same feelings about it as with the original Men In Black, but it doesn't add up to the original.

The humor has slightly become less funny.

Rating: 5/10 

 

Operation Condor is an action-packed flight

 It might be weird to review Armour of God 2 without watching the first movie, but there's extreme nudity in that one, and the first 2 minutes were weird enough for me to turn off the TV and watch something else.

 

Starring, written and directed by Jackie Chan  

Written by  
Edward Tang
Produced by Raymond Chow
Leonard Ho
Starring   
    Carol Cheng
    Eva Cobo de Garcia
    Shôko Ikeda (池田昌子)

 

Synopsis

Asian Hawk (Jackie Chan) -- code name Condor -- is a secret agent for hire. Assigned by a Turkish duke to find stolen Nazi gold buried in the Sahara Desert, Condor must face mercenaries, guards and one remaining Nazi (Aldo Sánchez) who wants the treasure he helped steal all those years ago. Even after teaming up with three inept ladies (Carol "Do Do" Cheng, Eva Cobo de Garcia, Masako Ikeda), Condor still has his work cut out for him on his hunt for the stolen loot.

 

Review 

So, Armour of God 2 is a pretty mediocre movie but the film has a good plot and good fight scenes.

I don't have a lot to say, except in my opinion the film started out a bit boring. Police Story started out with an epic gun-fight, Police Story 2 started with a recap of Police Story, Die Hard started out with hilarious dialogue by McClane and Argyle, Drunken Master started out with a fight, Snake in The Eagle's Shadow started out with comedy, and this movie started out boring. If you do get your hands on this film, fly away like a condor and watch something else - like Die Hard or Project S.

Oh yeah, there are 3 butts in this movie, so you might wanna stick around for that.

To clarify, this was not marketed as Armour of God 2 in Hong Kong.

Watch Armour of God II: Operation Condor on

https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/movie/armour-of-god-ii-operation-condor/1464153155606 (Chinese audio, English subtitles)

Rating: 6/10

Project A: Project Awesome!

 How do you spell, amazing? That line, which was taken from Miramax's 1995 re-release trailer for Project A / Jackie Chan's Project A sums up the whole film and the title. But today we will be reviewing the original version, the one on the UK dvd.

 

Directed, written by and starring Jackie Chan 

Starring: Sammo Kam Bo Hung, Biao Yuen, Dick Wei, Mars

Written by: Edward Tang
Produced by: Raymond Chow
Leonard Ho
Edward Tang

Release date: December 23, 1983 (Hong Kong)

August 8, 2007 (Australia)

 

Synopsis

 Dragon Ma (Jackie Chan) is a lieutenant in the 19th-century Hong Kong marines. Pirates have been terrorizing local waters, with assistance from the corrupt authorities. Dragon Ma hopes to defeat the evil pirate clan led by Sanpao (Dick Wei), but his plan is short-circuited. Ma then teams with a navy admiral (Hak Suen Lau), a police captain Tzu (Biao Yuen) and a crafty thief (Sammo Hung Kam-Bo) in a new round of high-seas battles with Sanpao and his pirates.

Review

How can't you love Project A? I remember being six years old, bored on the weekends, nothing to do, then SBS On Demand was playing Project A. I never heard of Jackie Chan or his films before so I watched the clock tower stunt and then the rest of the film. Since I didn't know the plot, I didn't care about it. Jackie Chan grasped me and I went on to watch Drunken Master and The Karate Kid. 

 The comedy aspect of the film is the same with Drunken Master. The film has lots of comedy sometimes I wonder if it was promoted as a "Comedy-action" film. But that's okay, because the reason I loved the film was because of how funny it was. Not to mention Jackie, Biao and Sammo's amazing performances, and the fight choreography as well. 

However, what ticked me off about the Hong Kong release of the film (that I watched) has only 5 outtake clips in the credits, unlike the Japanese version, which only has about 3 or 4 clips from the film. One thing I love about Chan's films is the credits. They're the parts I look forward to the most. So it sucked knowing that the credits are took up by a 50 second long freeze frame, seen below.

 Anyways, despite the credits, Project A is an amazing movie to see, with undeniably one of Chan's best stunts, and probably fight scenes with the one in the restaurant.

 Yeah, sure the bar fight is amazing to, but that one was just the cops losing their temper. Everyone in that scene was a protagonist.

 Anyways, Project A is one of my biggest Chan recommendations and I forget how amazing it is until I rewatch it.

Rating: 9/10

Watch Project A on

Chinese with English subtitles (2019) - https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/movie/project-a/1464154179755

 

The Young Master: A Grimace with Every Hit

 

 Directed, written by and starring Jackie Chan

Starring:   Yuen Biao

Fung Fung
Shih Kien

Whang in Shik

Written by: Edward Tang
Lau Tin-chi
Tung Lu

Produced by: Raymond Chow, Leonard Ho

 

Synopsis

A kung-fu fighter (Jackie Chan) is mistaken for a fugitive while searching for his runaway brother.

 Review 

The Young Master is one of the greatest 80s Chan films, despite it being his second directing role. I don't even know how to review this one.

The ten minute climatic fight is amazing, and it's just kinda cool to see Chan's character [Dragon] just act like a robot.

The fight choreography is amazing and definetly took many days to come up with.

Also, there is not too much comedy, but when there is, it is subtle and actually funny.

When I first watched the film I thought it was gonna be a boring film, but then I continued it and it was actually amazing.

 I bet that when Chan started directing, it was unusual to let a young man ( 26 year old) direct a film that he stars in and writes. But when you let him take charge, he might make a movie you don't want to end.

However, Golden Harvest must have not felt like that, because the film was originally 2 hours longer.

Anyways, The Young Master is a great film to watch when you're bored with great choreography, great writing, and great Jackie Chan stunts.

Okay, kids, what have we learned from The Young Master?

A kung fu fighting man is one of the best men you can find.

Watch The Young Master at

Yue Chinese with English subtitles (from 1995) - https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/movie/the-young-master/1464158275762

Rating: 9/10